Emo is first and foremost a music genre so you need to be involved in the music scene to avoid being called a poser. Learn to play an instrument! Or at least buy one! If you can't play you can always claim to, and you will gain instant credibility by merely owning it. Just take lots of picture of yourself holding it at creative angles to post on the internet. Can't afford a guitar? Write lyrics! Emo poetry can cover a wide range of emotions and making up your own style of writing is part of the process. Use poetry as a way of venting your problems. Don't have any problems? Then you're lucky as hell!!! The type of bands you listen to strongly reflect on you as an emo. Bands like Bullet For My Valentine and Fall Out Boy are a good bet, but it's more credibly to listen to obscure unsigned bands with names like Reservoir Death. If the music has emotional lyrics then it's emo. (duh emo stands for emotional hardcore, or just emotional)
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